The SURVIVOR CHRONICLES - # 1

(Left image: "On The Top Of Old Baldy")

Psa 22:24 For he hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; neither hath he hid his face from him; but when he cried unto him, he heard.

The silliest things entered my mind as I wrote this chronicle. It's good to keep a sense of humor and laugh out loud when faced with an affliction like cancer. SO ... please excuse me: The best thing i can say about chemotherapy is "Hair today, gone tomorrow."

This is the second week after my second treatment: I am to receive three heavy I.V. doses of chemotherapy spaced about three weeks apart. But let me go back and tell you how this happened.

About three months ago, I felt a cyst-like lump on the back of my neck - no warning! It did not hurt or itch, but I felt it when I washed and shaved. It bothered me because it was not supposed to be there. Yes, the possibility of cancer crossed my mind.

However, I decided to get our family physician's counsel. He is a dear friend; very skilled and investigative, although he had a low expectation that it was a carcinoma. He referred me to a fine surgeon, who also had a low expectation, but was agreeable to my request and opted to remove it to send it for a biopsy. It was same-day surgery, local anesthetic, but once he started cutting away, he stopped because the growth was extensive and wrapped around a nerve that controlled my right arm movements.

When the biopsy results came back, our oldest son and I faced the surgeon: He was very serious as he looked me square in the eye and told me that he was "absolutely shocked" at the results. It was a carcinoma, but they did not know the origin; whether from the lung or from a gland. Jeff was astounded at the look of "absolute shock" on the face of the surgeon.

From pre-school age, I have had COPD from asbestos being blown into the walls of our white clapboard house where I was born. I was always around workmen when my grandmother wanted to make a remodeling change. It was the cause of my being an "under-achiever" in sports, yet I always found ways to compensate, so I paid little attention to lack of lung power until I became an adult and I had to do something about it.

CAUTION: Although strange outcroppings of cysts, sores, etc., may come up on your body, it is my opinion that you should not just pass it off, "Go with your gut", so to speak," check it out, and thank God for conscientious physicians and surgeons who will honor your suspicions and help you prove them one way or another. And then - put on the whole armor of God and get ready for the battle.

MY ADVICE: Do not take chances and do not engage in suppositions, presumptions, and guess work. Precious time can be lost if the physician does not think your concerns are worth checking. Ask firemen if they ever overlook a report of smoke on the "low expectation" that it may be a false alarm.

I do not know how fast it is growing. Our famed oncologist, of the Kansas City Cancer Center, called it "aggressive." Now… it is time to go into the heavenly armory to take up my sword and join ranks with the "Captain of the Lord's hosts." I do not want to be intimidated by a stupid tumor; rather, I will concentrate on the total extinction of the enemy horde. Here is how I have done it before and am doing it now:

• No "Deadline:" A difficult time for cancer patients need not be an impossible time to take action. Do not let a pre-determined notion or “end-of-time” call by your physician stop your clock. As a pastor and a medical center chaplain, I have observed emotions and expressions when the mind does a backward/forward search through time for some reason or explanation “WHY?”

Most patients are ready to accept anything from, ”You don’t have cancer after all” to "You had better get your affairs in order. You only have ___ weeks to live." I was not told and I did not ask how much time I had left. It only adds more stress and knee-jerk reactions.

Example: A couple I ministered to years ago were told to go home and get their affairs together because he had a fast-growing carcinoma and only had two weeks to live. To my thinking, a lot can be done in two weeks, but they were crushed and trying to be brave, they just ascribed it to God’s will and did not try to do anything more or to get a second opinion. They opted out of the battle before it even started. Second opinions from non-related clinics are essential. Advice: Keep busly: do research, go to support groups. Don't just give in; be a Caleb-type Bulldog.

• No Negativity: "Killer stress" has to be managed and put down ... eliminated. Those who tend to have a cynical outlook on things need to make a dramatic change. People can get so accustomed to negativity that it can be hard to distinguish it from the positive. These people should ELIMINATE THE NEGATIVE, ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE: a little tune from Tin Pan Alley during WW2.


• No Self Pity: The mind is an essential part of management over our fearfully and wondrously made “spirit, soul, and body.” The body reacts according to what the mind tells it to do: Killer stress and confusion can cause it to give crazy orers in dispatching healing agents to wounds and diseases. Had you thought that it might not be God's time for you to die. Your affliction may be from the Devil, as it was with Job: God turns his head for a season that we may be tried and found faithful. Or… your illness might be caused from self-indulgence.

I had to remember that pain and angst may cause me to feel that I am the only one in the world that has my particular problem, "… but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it (1Co 10:13)."

“For whom God lovers He chastens," for correction or to prove our faith and steadfastness, or just that He is God. My time here is short in comparison to eternity and I do not want to miss out on God's love or plan for my life, do you?

• Know God: To know the one that "sticks closer than a brother," I have to read, meditate, study, praise, and pray back to God His precious promises. Three times in my life, maybe more, I have faced death and I have found that it is a good way to get to know God on an improved relationship.

Now, the wheel has come close to being full circle. This is perhaps my biggest challenge in that what is given to me in three six-hour infusions, is a "poison" to get rid of poisons in my body and to kill a tumor on my lung. Call me crazy but I believe it can and will be done. Even as I am taking chemotherapy in extra strong doses, my plan was to keep the Survivors Internet Ministry, Int, blogs active.

Remember, dear friends: Cancer does not mean death. The grace of God through faith, is a balm from heaven from the everlasting apothecary. He will see you through it, as He has done for me.

Psa 116:9 I will walk before the LORD in the land of the living.
Pastor Bulldog – A survivor!

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Survivor Chronicles (Number Two): more descriptions of what to expect and the Bible technique of how to stand up under chemotherapy and/or radiation. 2Co 1:6 And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. Bulldogs Are Survivors!

Series: "Big C" Battle Chronicles

INTRODUCTION, by Pastor Bulldog

In 1991, victory in the battle over cancer was mine, not without recurring problems due to chemotherapy and radiation; both at the same time. But it is the way that victory was won that I hope to share in a series of articles as I proceed through my procedure to repel another invasion of cancer: my thoughts, my feelings, my pain, and my victory in Christ, my captain of hosts in this skirmish. .

DENIAL: CAUSES US TO FLEE: "Cancer" is a scary word that says, "I am your Cancer and you will die!" My first thought was one of denial, but the next thought was one of "Oh Lord, why?" Initial fright, angst, or exceptional startling expectation of death can be a good thing, in that it should promote immediate action: not just any action, but to take control and learn to manage stress. It allows my mind to form a plan and my brain to dispatch repelling units to chew up free radicals. "We are fearfully and wonderfully made"

CANCER: DOES NOT MEAN DEATH: More deaths result from Alzheimer's Disease and Cardiac Arrests, than from Cancer. Notice that I did not say "My cancer", because I do not own it, I will not accept it, AND - I will not let it hang around in my body. When I went home after the first battle in 1991, the prescribed treatment was radiation every day at 11:00 a.m. and chemotherapy administered by a pump strapped to my left arm and pumped up to the heart... 24/7.

ACTION: POSITIVE; ELIMINATE the NEGATIVE: My first actions were to locate support groups, not so much for me, rather it was to gather information for an on-line ministry I felt the Lord leading me to form.* I met Mr. Richard Block, retired brother and partner of H.&R. Block, of the Bloch Cancer Foundation.** His cancer was dire and was given a 50% chance of recovery. In his books he explains that he liked the odds and so he set out to fight and he won several years until dying of a heart attack. In his research Mr. Bloch found that there is no known form of cancer that cannot be healed.

PREPARATION: FOR BODY AND SOUL BATTLE: So now, I am beginning a new opportunity to see the Lord work a wonder in my life. I need to rally the forces at hand, consider my options, and prepare for battle. (Interesting are reactions to the word "cancer" so I asked the oncologist what I should tell people when they want to know what kind of cancer it is: metastatic non-small cell carcinoma, consistent with lung primary: long name, but sounds better than CANCER and stops further questions.

PREPARATION: FOR SPIRIT AND SOUL BATTLE: I remembered who gave me the victory over the first battle when I claimed Bible verses and paraphrased them by inserting me as the one to whom God is addressing. If it had not been the LORD who was on our side, when [free radicals] rose up against [you/me]: Then they had swallowed us up quick ... (Psalm 124:2-3): Preparing my mind and aligning my spirit with God’s Spirit, was the most important thing that I learned to do: a BULLDOG’s determination to fight.

TRUST: UNFEIGNED ABSOLUTE UNQUESTIONING: Before leading Israel into the battle to occupy Canaan, God spoke to Joshua, "Every place that the sole of your foot shall tread upon, that have I given unto you, as I said unto Moses (Joshua 1:3)." “Lo”, He is with (you/me) and He will go before you and the enemy will die by droves.

• · Remember when the Amalekites gave Israel it’s first test in battle at Rephidim, and Moses stood on top of a hill with the Rod of God? When Moses wearied and the Rod lowered, Israel, under General Joshua got the worst of the battle. When Aaron helped Moses keep his arm raised and the Rod raised, Israel won the battle: their trust and faith increased (You would have thought that 2 million scared Jews crossing the Red Sea on dry land was enough “awe and shock” to prove them, but that was just the beginning).
• Remember how that after seeing God come down on Mount Sinai in the horror of lightnings and explosions of shrouding smoke and horrific darkness to give the Law of God to the Jews through Moses, that they promised in unison, “All that the Lord says, we will do”. God promised blessings, they promised obedience. God keeps His promises; man breaks his promises.
• Remember when, at Kadesh Barnea, Israel could have gone straight into the land to let the Lord lead them to victory: instead they came back with grapes as big as watermelons and wonderful fruit and goods, but also; there were giants (Anakim, really big people), and they would have to fight nasty, mean peoples, which were natural enemies: the Amalekites, Hittites, Jebusites, Amorites, Canaanites.
• Remember this: But “Caleb stilled the people, and said, Let us go up at once, and possess it; for we are well able to overcome it. (Heb: kelebh "dog"; Syriac & Arabic: kaleb or kalebh, not "dog", but “raging with canine madness”) The Bible says of Caleb "... because that he wholly followed the Lord God of Israel" (Jos_14:8-9; Jos_14:14). BUT… the men who went up the hill with Caleb and Joshua said, “We be not able to go up against the people; for they are stronger than we”. Their mind-set was on failure, essentially saying they remember all of the miracles the Lord did, but THIS IS DIFFERENT! (Num 13:28-31)

I like to think of Caleb as a real BULLDOG: raging like a mad dog at injustice and lack of faith, and for those who hesitate at God’s command. I think that when he gave his companions a stern lecture, the air must have turned blue. “Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest (Joshua 1:9).”

God did not place us on earth to kill us, but to prove ourselves worthy to serve Him for all eternity. Our finite imaginations cannot fathom all that God has for us to do when we see Him. However, all the men fit for war that lost faith that God would deliver them, were doomed to circuit Canaan forty years while a new breed of warriors trained and were whipped into a superior fighting force to go in and possess the promises of God. Forty years for forty thousand who let the Lord prepare them for war “passed over before the LORD unto battle, to the plains of Jericho (Joshua 4:13).”

“There shall not any man be able to stand before thee all the days of thy life: as I was with Moses, so I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee (Joshua 1:5).”

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Paul’s mind-set for peace through affliction: “… so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life, or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain (Philippians 1:20-21).”

Next week on the TOPIC OF CANCER: The First Chronicle: Tumor Protocol Begins
(Never assume anything and always prove your instincts)

CANCER IS CURABLE - Our God is Great!

A Brave Testimony of a Brave Battle by a Brave Woman.

(Note: As you read this, please understand that this experience started 38 plus years ago. Much upgrading to procedures have been developed and many protocols of treatment have been successful. – P.B.)

“Cancer is one of the most frightening words in today's language no matter what that language is, just as Polio, Black Plague, Diphtheria, etc., have struck fear into the hearts of man over the centuries. With all the money and time spent in research. no cure or individual drugs have been discovered. Genes have been studied but not yet has an individual gene been identified. I feel that a detailed description of my first encounter is necessary to alert women AND men of this vicious disease.

“When I was a young woman we all knew about this MONSTER-HORROR CANCER but we preferred not to discuss it; maybe an offhand remark. We glanced at articles in reference to it but that was the extent of our study. My entire circle just preferred to believe that 'it won't happen to us'. We were young white collar workers with a very active social life and CANCER wasn't a big worry. I do remember saying now and then, if the subject came up, ‘I would just drop dead on the spot or go completely insane
if I was ever told I had it’. In those days it was a terminal illness and no one ever heard of anyone who recovered. I have since learned to never say what you would do in a given situation.

“I was 38 years old, had a happy marriage and a 21 year old daughter and a three year old daughter. One day, as I did about every few months, I examined my breast in the shower. To my surprise there was a small 'lump' in the upper right side of the left breast nearest the center of my chest. When my husband came home that night, with an 'it will go away,' no panic, attitude I asked him to feel the area for any unusual 'lumps'. He did and, with a look of concern, he answered that he did and added he wanted me to call our doctor the following day.

“Our doctor (in those days doctors would speak to you on the phone) said, ‘Since you can't be here yesterday be here tomorrow’. He examined me, took a sheet of graph paper and drew a sketch, noting area, date and size of the lump, and told me to come back in a month. When I returned, he again measured and probed while consulting the sketch he had made the month before. At the end of this study, he asked me if I knew a surgeon. Taken aback I said no.

“My husband had been hurt on the job a couple of years earlier and our doctor sent him to see a surgeon. I reminded him that he had sent my husband to Dr, David Kluge at Genesee Hospital in Rochester, N. Y. He said, ‘Of course! Why didn't I think of David?’ He also told me he thought it was just a cyst and nothing more but wanted to be sure.

“I went to see Dr. Kluge a few days later. After examining me, he, too, said it was very discreet and he believed it to be a cyst. However, he wanted to be sure and wanted me to go into the Hospital on Dec. 26th. I have never spent days so filled with dread. Fright, apprehension, horrible thoughts of the future, prayer, - I cannot tell you the emotions that went through my head, but there was one bright spot - I had followed suggested procedure. The night before I went into the hospital, I had this deep knowledge that I had cancer! Where did it come from? I heard no voice - it was just a fact - I knew!

“I went into the hospital Dec 26, l967. The next morning I was scheduled to be the first surgery of the day. The hospital had a rule that friends and family could go only to the elevator with a patient on the way to surgery. A nurse approached and touched my husband's elbow saying he could not go onto the elevator with me. My doctor said, "He is going to the OR door with us." And he did. There was no OR waiting area so relatives and friends had to wait in the lobby to be notified when the surgery was completed. At 4:30 PM Dr Kluge stepped off the elevator and was still wearing his Greens with obvious signs of surgery on them. He walked to meet my husband and told him I was in Recovery. He had not notified the desk because he wanted to tell my husband that he had found cancer.

“IT WAS NOT THE LUMP I HAD FOUND! The hospital had its own pathology lab and he had extracted the cyst, sent it to the lab and while waiting for the results had done an 'exploratory' incision down under that breast. He said he didn't know what made him do it but he just felt that it needed to be checked. He found a very small growth, took a biopsy and sent it to the lab. By now he had gotten the result of the exam on the cyst pronounced benign. Less than 5 minutes later he got the results of the second submission: CANCER. He proceeded with a very detailed Mastectomy.

“My first sight [upon waking] was my husband and I was in a different room. My daughter told me I had been so saturated with ether her husband had to leave the room. My next inquiry was, "Is this where they took the skin graft?" This surprised me as much as them! I had not contemplated radical surgery and never thought about how they would close the wound left by such a traumatic removal of a body part! Skin grafting was something I had heard of but never inquired about.

“When my doctor came in, he immediately inquired about 'your sling'. I was totally in the dark until he left the room and returned with two nurses, each with a sling. He instructed me to put my left arm in it and wear it until he told me to stop. Then he said, ‘I have three things to say to you. You had cancer. I am sorry. You will be visiting my office for the rest of your or my life!" This dear man is now deceased.

“I never had concern about vanity. My wonderful husband was always telling me it didn't matter if I had two, one or none. I was the same person regardless. My family and friends never made it a big deal, no remarks were ever made and I was treated as if I had maybe had my tonsils out, or maybe appendix - nothing more. Support is the thing any one has to have and I cannot express enough how important it is to a victim.

“I have said all of the above to come to these points. 'Vanity, Thy name is Woman'. Your life is more important to your family and to God. For those of you just learning that you may have or do have this terrible disease remember I had this experience in 1967, detection is much more advanced. My scar goes from my collar bone to mid ribs and you can see the bones. But NO ONE KNOWS IF I DON'T TELL THEM. People who have known me for years are astounded to learn of it.

“MOST IMPORTANT: You may not be a candidate to model bras but your family can still hug you. Which is more valuable - the hug or your vanity? If anyone loves you enough, a husband or boy- friend, IT WILL NOT MATTER! We are still a creation of God, He still loves us - Now what is more important than filling the role He laid out for your life? You can still watch your loved ones grow, laugh with them, cry with them and be a shoulder to cry on, give them support when needed regardless of your scars, or any physical challenge.

“One of the things I really am against is the utter ridiculous idea originally advanced by Shirley Temple Black who said she thought every cancer patient should be wakened after a cancer had been found and allowed to decide what they wanted to have done. What is there to decide? You have a cancer and, if operable, there is no choice so why should you have to wake up, make the only available decision and then worry needlessly while you wait for another surgery?

“I HAVE BEEN THERE! I HAVE WALKED THAT PATHWAY! AND MOST IMPORTANT; JESUS HELPS YOU TO STAND AND UNDERSTAND. You are not a 'side show freak’; you are still the same Lamb of God. Hold your head high and give Him a thumb up. Don't do as I did. Read and follow the warnings and symptoms of this dreadful disease. Research the options, the side effects, and the availability of the care you need. Find a good Oncologist and God will take it from there. You must pray and you must be very sincere.

“There really are findings constantly that are more comfortable than mine was. And please remember to watch for the signs, put your faith in God and find a top notch surgeon in the field of Cancer. I cannot stress enough that you are not going to be a 'freak', an embarrassment or any of the hundreds of things you can think of. You will be YOU. I am still here 38 years later, walked my youngest daughter down the aisle (it took both of you to get me here and it'll take both of you to give me away), seen my grand children and even great grand children. You can be, TOO!

“My favorite: If He leads me to it, He will lead me through it.”

By Mary Peake

From DON TOLMAN'S News Letter

Happy New Year Robert,
The evidence is becoming quite compelling that sun exposure (that causes us to make Vitamin D) will help lower the risk of many cancers, including breast and prostate cancer.
Research is now showing that the human body can cure itself of cancer provided that it has the right raw materials available - and sunshine is one of those critical, raw materials (read pages 240-241 in Volume 2 of the Farmacist Desk Reference for more info on this).
When it comes to breast cancer, another important finding is that women who wear bras excessively (up to 24 hours a day) are 113 times more likely to get the disease than women who wear bras less than 12 hours a day.
I know how confusing all this gets with the medical establishment and media, but the fact is that these diseases are growing not declining. So, it's worth digging a little deeper to find real answers as to why this is the case.
See you next week,
Don.
http://www.dontolmaninternational.com/portal/index.php

COMING IN OUT OF THE COLD

*Olga Bateman lives in New Brunswick, Canada. She says that she does not like the cold weather, but her warm heart for the Lord carries her through each day.

Testimonies and information are forthcoming from Olga. This Blog site is up ahead of schedule. It is a work in progress. - p.b.