A Brave Testimony of a Brave Battle by a Brave Woman.
(Note: As you read this, please understand that this experience started 38 plus years ago. Much upgrading to procedures have been developed and many protocols of treatment have been successful. – P.B.)
“Cancer is one of the most frightening words in today's language no matter what that language is, just as Polio, Black Plague, Diphtheria, etc., have struck fear into the hearts of man over the centuries. With all the money and time spent in research. no cure or individual drugs have been discovered. Genes have been studied but not yet has an individual gene been identified. I feel that a detailed description of my first encounter is necessary to alert women AND men of this vicious disease.
“When I was a young woman we all knew about this MONSTER-HORROR CANCER but we preferred not to discuss it; maybe an offhand remark. We glanced at articles in reference to it but that was the extent of our study. My entire circle just preferred to believe that 'it won't happen to us'. We were young white collar workers with a very active social life and CANCER wasn't a big worry. I do remember saying now and then, if the subject came up, ‘I would just drop dead on the spot or go completely insane
if I was ever told I had it’. In those days it was a terminal illness and no one ever heard of anyone who recovered. I have since learned to never say what you would do in a given situation.
“I was 38 years old, had a happy marriage and a 21 year old daughter and a three year old daughter. One day, as I did about every few months, I examined my breast in the shower. To my surprise there was a small 'lump' in the upper right side of the left breast nearest the center of my chest. When my husband came home that night, with an 'it will go away,' no panic, attitude I asked him to feel the area for any unusual 'lumps'. He did and, with a look of concern, he answered that he did and added he wanted me to call our doctor the following day.
“Our doctor (in those days doctors would speak to you on the phone) said, ‘Since you can't be here yesterday be here tomorrow’. He examined me, took a sheet of graph paper and drew a sketch, noting area, date and size of the lump, and told me to come back in a month. When I returned, he again measured and probed while consulting the sketch he had made the month before. At the end of this study, he asked me if I knew a surgeon. Taken aback I said no.
“My husband had been hurt on the job a couple of years earlier and our doctor sent him to see a surgeon. I reminded him that he had sent my husband to Dr, David Kluge at Genesee Hospital in Rochester, N. Y. He said, ‘Of course! Why didn't I think of David?’ He also told me he thought it was just a cyst and nothing more but wanted to be sure.
“I went to see Dr. Kluge a few days later. After examining me, he, too, said it was very discreet and he believed it to be a cyst. However, he wanted to be sure and wanted me to go into the Hospital on Dec. 26th. I have never spent days so filled with dread. Fright, apprehension, horrible thoughts of the future, prayer, - I cannot tell you the emotions that went through my head, but there was one bright spot - I had followed suggested procedure. The night before I went into the hospital, I had this deep knowledge that I had cancer! Where did it come from? I heard no voice - it was just a fact - I knew!
“I went into the hospital Dec 26, l967. The next morning I was scheduled to be the first surgery of the day. The hospital had a rule that friends and family could go only to the elevator with a patient on the way to surgery. A nurse approached and touched my husband's elbow saying he could not go onto the elevator with me. My doctor said, "He is going to the OR door with us." And he did. There was no OR waiting area so relatives and friends had to wait in the lobby to be notified when the surgery was completed. At 4:30 PM Dr Kluge stepped off the elevator and was still wearing his Greens with obvious signs of surgery on them. He walked to meet my husband and told him I was in Recovery. He had not notified the desk because he wanted to tell my husband that he had found cancer.
“IT WAS NOT THE LUMP I HAD FOUND! The hospital had its own pathology lab and he had extracted the cyst, sent it to the lab and while waiting for the results had done an 'exploratory' incision down under that breast. He said he didn't know what made him do it but he just felt that it needed to be checked. He found a very small growth, took a biopsy and sent it to the lab. By now he had gotten the result of the exam on the cyst pronounced benign. Less than 5 minutes later he got the results of the second submission: CANCER. He proceeded with a very detailed Mastectomy.
“My first sight [upon waking] was my husband and I was in a different room. My daughter told me I had been so saturated with ether her husband had to leave the room. My next inquiry was, "Is this where they took the skin graft?" This surprised me as much as them! I had not contemplated radical surgery and never thought about how they would close the wound left by such a traumatic removal of a body part! Skin grafting was something I had heard of but never inquired about.
“When my doctor came in, he immediately inquired about 'your sling'. I was totally in the dark until he left the room and returned with two nurses, each with a sling. He instructed me to put my left arm in it and wear it until he told me to stop. Then he said, ‘I have three things to say to you. You had cancer. I am sorry. You will be visiting my office for the rest of your or my life!" This dear man is now deceased.
“I never had concern about vanity. My wonderful husband was always telling me it didn't matter if I had two, one or none. I was the same person regardless. My family and friends never made it a big deal, no remarks were ever made and I was treated as if I had maybe had my tonsils out, or maybe appendix - nothing more. Support is the thing any one has to have and I cannot express enough how important it is to a victim.
“I have said all of the above to come to these points. 'Vanity, Thy name is Woman'. Your life is more important to your family and to God. For those of you just learning that you may have or do have this terrible disease remember I had this experience in 1967, detection is much more advanced. My scar goes from my collar bone to mid ribs and you can see the bones. But NO ONE KNOWS IF I DON'T TELL THEM. People who have known me for years are astounded to learn of it.
“MOST IMPORTANT: You may not be a candidate to model bras but your family can still hug you. Which is more valuable - the hug or your vanity? If anyone loves you enough, a husband or boy- friend, IT WILL NOT MATTER! We are still a creation of God, He still loves us - Now what is more important than filling the role He laid out for your life? You can still watch your loved ones grow, laugh with them, cry with them and be a shoulder to cry on, give them support when needed regardless of your scars, or any physical challenge.
“One of the things I really am against is the utter ridiculous idea originally advanced by Shirley Temple Black who said she thought every cancer patient should be wakened after a cancer had been found and allowed to decide what they wanted to have done. What is there to decide? You have a cancer and, if operable, there is no choice so why should you have to wake up, make the only available decision and then worry needlessly while you wait for another surgery?
“I HAVE BEEN THERE! I HAVE WALKED THAT PATHWAY! AND MOST IMPORTANT; JESUS HELPS YOU TO STAND AND UNDERSTAND. You are not a 'side show freak’; you are still the same Lamb of God. Hold your head high and give Him a thumb up. Don't do as I did. Read and follow the warnings and symptoms of this dreadful disease. Research the options, the side effects, and the availability of the care you need. Find a good Oncologist and God will take it from there. You must pray and you must be very sincere.
“There really are findings constantly that are more comfortable than mine was. And please remember to watch for the signs, put your faith in God and find a top notch surgeon in the field of Cancer. I cannot stress enough that you are not going to be a 'freak', an embarrassment or any of the hundreds of things you can think of. You will be YOU. I am still here 38 years later, walked my youngest daughter down the aisle (it took both of you to get me here and it'll take both of you to give me away), seen my grand children and even great grand children. You can be, TOO!
“My favorite: If He leads me to it, He will lead me through it.”
(Note: As you read this, please understand that this experience started 38 plus years ago. Much upgrading to procedures have been developed and many protocols of treatment have been successful. – P.B.)
“Cancer is one of the most frightening words in today's language no matter what that language is, just as Polio, Black Plague, Diphtheria, etc., have struck fear into the hearts of man over the centuries. With all the money and time spent in research. no cure or individual drugs have been discovered. Genes have been studied but not yet has an individual gene been identified. I feel that a detailed description of my first encounter is necessary to alert women AND men of this vicious disease.
“When I was a young woman we all knew about this MONSTER-HORROR CANCER but we preferred not to discuss it; maybe an offhand remark. We glanced at articles in reference to it but that was the extent of our study. My entire circle just preferred to believe that 'it won't happen to us'. We were young white collar workers with a very active social life and CANCER wasn't a big worry. I do remember saying now and then, if the subject came up, ‘I would just drop dead on the spot or go completely insane
if I was ever told I had it’. In those days it was a terminal illness and no one ever heard of anyone who recovered. I have since learned to never say what you would do in a given situation.
“I was 38 years old, had a happy marriage and a 21 year old daughter and a three year old daughter. One day, as I did about every few months, I examined my breast in the shower. To my surprise there was a small 'lump' in the upper right side of the left breast nearest the center of my chest. When my husband came home that night, with an 'it will go away,' no panic, attitude I asked him to feel the area for any unusual 'lumps'. He did and, with a look of concern, he answered that he did and added he wanted me to call our doctor the following day.
“Our doctor (in those days doctors would speak to you on the phone) said, ‘Since you can't be here yesterday be here tomorrow’. He examined me, took a sheet of graph paper and drew a sketch, noting area, date and size of the lump, and told me to come back in a month. When I returned, he again measured and probed while consulting the sketch he had made the month before. At the end of this study, he asked me if I knew a surgeon. Taken aback I said no.
“My husband had been hurt on the job a couple of years earlier and our doctor sent him to see a surgeon. I reminded him that he had sent my husband to Dr, David Kluge at Genesee Hospital in Rochester, N. Y. He said, ‘Of course! Why didn't I think of David?’ He also told me he thought it was just a cyst and nothing more but wanted to be sure.
“I went to see Dr. Kluge a few days later. After examining me, he, too, said it was very discreet and he believed it to be a cyst. However, he wanted to be sure and wanted me to go into the Hospital on Dec. 26th. I have never spent days so filled with dread. Fright, apprehension, horrible thoughts of the future, prayer, - I cannot tell you the emotions that went through my head, but there was one bright spot - I had followed suggested procedure. The night before I went into the hospital, I had this deep knowledge that I had cancer! Where did it come from? I heard no voice - it was just a fact - I knew!
“I went into the hospital Dec 26, l967. The next morning I was scheduled to be the first surgery of the day. The hospital had a rule that friends and family could go only to the elevator with a patient on the way to surgery. A nurse approached and touched my husband's elbow saying he could not go onto the elevator with me. My doctor said, "He is going to the OR door with us." And he did. There was no OR waiting area so relatives and friends had to wait in the lobby to be notified when the surgery was completed. At 4:30 PM Dr Kluge stepped off the elevator and was still wearing his Greens with obvious signs of surgery on them. He walked to meet my husband and told him I was in Recovery. He had not notified the desk because he wanted to tell my husband that he had found cancer.
“IT WAS NOT THE LUMP I HAD FOUND! The hospital had its own pathology lab and he had extracted the cyst, sent it to the lab and while waiting for the results had done an 'exploratory' incision down under that breast. He said he didn't know what made him do it but he just felt that it needed to be checked. He found a very small growth, took a biopsy and sent it to the lab. By now he had gotten the result of the exam on the cyst pronounced benign. Less than 5 minutes later he got the results of the second submission: CANCER. He proceeded with a very detailed Mastectomy.
“My first sight [upon waking] was my husband and I was in a different room. My daughter told me I had been so saturated with ether her husband had to leave the room. My next inquiry was, "Is this where they took the skin graft?" This surprised me as much as them! I had not contemplated radical surgery and never thought about how they would close the wound left by such a traumatic removal of a body part! Skin grafting was something I had heard of but never inquired about.
“When my doctor came in, he immediately inquired about 'your sling'. I was totally in the dark until he left the room and returned with two nurses, each with a sling. He instructed me to put my left arm in it and wear it until he told me to stop. Then he said, ‘I have three things to say to you. You had cancer. I am sorry. You will be visiting my office for the rest of your or my life!" This dear man is now deceased.
“I never had concern about vanity. My wonderful husband was always telling me it didn't matter if I had two, one or none. I was the same person regardless. My family and friends never made it a big deal, no remarks were ever made and I was treated as if I had maybe had my tonsils out, or maybe appendix - nothing more. Support is the thing any one has to have and I cannot express enough how important it is to a victim.
“I have said all of the above to come to these points. 'Vanity, Thy name is Woman'. Your life is more important to your family and to God. For those of you just learning that you may have or do have this terrible disease remember I had this experience in 1967, detection is much more advanced. My scar goes from my collar bone to mid ribs and you can see the bones. But NO ONE KNOWS IF I DON'T TELL THEM. People who have known me for years are astounded to learn of it.
“MOST IMPORTANT: You may not be a candidate to model bras but your family can still hug you. Which is more valuable - the hug or your vanity? If anyone loves you enough, a husband or boy- friend, IT WILL NOT MATTER! We are still a creation of God, He still loves us - Now what is more important than filling the role He laid out for your life? You can still watch your loved ones grow, laugh with them, cry with them and be a shoulder to cry on, give them support when needed regardless of your scars, or any physical challenge.
“One of the things I really am against is the utter ridiculous idea originally advanced by Shirley Temple Black who said she thought every cancer patient should be wakened after a cancer had been found and allowed to decide what they wanted to have done. What is there to decide? You have a cancer and, if operable, there is no choice so why should you have to wake up, make the only available decision and then worry needlessly while you wait for another surgery?
“I HAVE BEEN THERE! I HAVE WALKED THAT PATHWAY! AND MOST IMPORTANT; JESUS HELPS YOU TO STAND AND UNDERSTAND. You are not a 'side show freak’; you are still the same Lamb of God. Hold your head high and give Him a thumb up. Don't do as I did. Read and follow the warnings and symptoms of this dreadful disease. Research the options, the side effects, and the availability of the care you need. Find a good Oncologist and God will take it from there. You must pray and you must be very sincere.
“There really are findings constantly that are more comfortable than mine was. And please remember to watch for the signs, put your faith in God and find a top notch surgeon in the field of Cancer. I cannot stress enough that you are not going to be a 'freak', an embarrassment or any of the hundreds of things you can think of. You will be YOU. I am still here 38 years later, walked my youngest daughter down the aisle (it took both of you to get me here and it'll take both of you to give me away), seen my grand children and even great grand children. You can be, TOO!
“My favorite: If He leads me to it, He will lead me through it.”
By Mary Peake
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