The SURVIVOR CHRONICLES - # 1

(Left image: "On The Top Of Old Baldy")

Psa 22:24 For he hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; neither hath he hid his face from him; but when he cried unto him, he heard.

The silliest things entered my mind as I wrote this chronicle. It's good to keep a sense of humor and laugh out loud when faced with an affliction like cancer. SO ... please excuse me: The best thing i can say about chemotherapy is "Hair today, gone tomorrow."

This is the second week after my second treatment: I am to receive three heavy I.V. doses of chemotherapy spaced about three weeks apart. But let me go back and tell you how this happened.

About three months ago, I felt a cyst-like lump on the back of my neck - no warning! It did not hurt or itch, but I felt it when I washed and shaved. It bothered me because it was not supposed to be there. Yes, the possibility of cancer crossed my mind.

However, I decided to get our family physician's counsel. He is a dear friend; very skilled and investigative, although he had a low expectation that it was a carcinoma. He referred me to a fine surgeon, who also had a low expectation, but was agreeable to my request and opted to remove it to send it for a biopsy. It was same-day surgery, local anesthetic, but once he started cutting away, he stopped because the growth was extensive and wrapped around a nerve that controlled my right arm movements.

When the biopsy results came back, our oldest son and I faced the surgeon: He was very serious as he looked me square in the eye and told me that he was "absolutely shocked" at the results. It was a carcinoma, but they did not know the origin; whether from the lung or from a gland. Jeff was astounded at the look of "absolute shock" on the face of the surgeon.

From pre-school age, I have had COPD from asbestos being blown into the walls of our white clapboard house where I was born. I was always around workmen when my grandmother wanted to make a remodeling change. It was the cause of my being an "under-achiever" in sports, yet I always found ways to compensate, so I paid little attention to lack of lung power until I became an adult and I had to do something about it.

CAUTION: Although strange outcroppings of cysts, sores, etc., may come up on your body, it is my opinion that you should not just pass it off, "Go with your gut", so to speak," check it out, and thank God for conscientious physicians and surgeons who will honor your suspicions and help you prove them one way or another. And then - put on the whole armor of God and get ready for the battle.

MY ADVICE: Do not take chances and do not engage in suppositions, presumptions, and guess work. Precious time can be lost if the physician does not think your concerns are worth checking. Ask firemen if they ever overlook a report of smoke on the "low expectation" that it may be a false alarm.

I do not know how fast it is growing. Our famed oncologist, of the Kansas City Cancer Center, called it "aggressive." Now… it is time to go into the heavenly armory to take up my sword and join ranks with the "Captain of the Lord's hosts." I do not want to be intimidated by a stupid tumor; rather, I will concentrate on the total extinction of the enemy horde. Here is how I have done it before and am doing it now:

• No "Deadline:" A difficult time for cancer patients need not be an impossible time to take action. Do not let a pre-determined notion or “end-of-time” call by your physician stop your clock. As a pastor and a medical center chaplain, I have observed emotions and expressions when the mind does a backward/forward search through time for some reason or explanation “WHY?”

Most patients are ready to accept anything from, ”You don’t have cancer after all” to "You had better get your affairs in order. You only have ___ weeks to live." I was not told and I did not ask how much time I had left. It only adds more stress and knee-jerk reactions.

Example: A couple I ministered to years ago were told to go home and get their affairs together because he had a fast-growing carcinoma and only had two weeks to live. To my thinking, a lot can be done in two weeks, but they were crushed and trying to be brave, they just ascribed it to God’s will and did not try to do anything more or to get a second opinion. They opted out of the battle before it even started. Second opinions from non-related clinics are essential. Advice: Keep busly: do research, go to support groups. Don't just give in; be a Caleb-type Bulldog.

• No Negativity: "Killer stress" has to be managed and put down ... eliminated. Those who tend to have a cynical outlook on things need to make a dramatic change. People can get so accustomed to negativity that it can be hard to distinguish it from the positive. These people should ELIMINATE THE NEGATIVE, ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE: a little tune from Tin Pan Alley during WW2.


• No Self Pity: The mind is an essential part of management over our fearfully and wondrously made “spirit, soul, and body.” The body reacts according to what the mind tells it to do: Killer stress and confusion can cause it to give crazy orers in dispatching healing agents to wounds and diseases. Had you thought that it might not be God's time for you to die. Your affliction may be from the Devil, as it was with Job: God turns his head for a season that we may be tried and found faithful. Or… your illness might be caused from self-indulgence.

I had to remember that pain and angst may cause me to feel that I am the only one in the world that has my particular problem, "… but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it (1Co 10:13)."

“For whom God lovers He chastens," for correction or to prove our faith and steadfastness, or just that He is God. My time here is short in comparison to eternity and I do not want to miss out on God's love or plan for my life, do you?

• Know God: To know the one that "sticks closer than a brother," I have to read, meditate, study, praise, and pray back to God His precious promises. Three times in my life, maybe more, I have faced death and I have found that it is a good way to get to know God on an improved relationship.

Now, the wheel has come close to being full circle. This is perhaps my biggest challenge in that what is given to me in three six-hour infusions, is a "poison" to get rid of poisons in my body and to kill a tumor on my lung. Call me crazy but I believe it can and will be done. Even as I am taking chemotherapy in extra strong doses, my plan was to keep the Survivors Internet Ministry, Int, blogs active.

Remember, dear friends: Cancer does not mean death. The grace of God through faith, is a balm from heaven from the everlasting apothecary. He will see you through it, as He has done for me.

Psa 116:9 I will walk before the LORD in the land of the living.
Pastor Bulldog – A survivor!

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Survivor Chronicles (Number Two): more descriptions of what to expect and the Bible technique of how to stand up under chemotherapy and/or radiation. 2Co 1:6 And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. Bulldogs Are Survivors!